Christopher was born March 17th 1973, he died from suicide May 7, 1999. I could start from the beginning but it would make his story even longer so I'm going to start at the beginning of his problems. I will say that we were always a very close family.
He met what I will call his future wife at age 18 and at first it seemed like an ok match , he was still living at home.
They dated like normal teenagers for awhile but then she wanted to move in with him while he was still at home. I wouldn't do that, I thought they were too young to start that plus the fact that as we got to know her we found that she liked all guys more than she should and if Chris didn't do what she wanted she would just find someone to try and make him jealous and it usually worked.
So one day when I came home from work Chris had moved out and had left me a note. He had moved in with her parents. They ended up moving three times in about 6 months in with different relatives. During this time she had given him all kinds of sob stories about her life which we were all sucked into that one for awhile
Christopher always talked about having children some day and of course he discussed it with her so she informed him that she could not have kids. That made him sad and they started fighting even more but wouldn't break up for long.
Eventually they rented their own house and she told him she was pregnant. Hmmmm! So we all decided we needed to get along if they were going to have kids. So they were planning the wedding (pretty quick) and two weeks before the wedding he came to me and said she wasn't pregnant after all. I told him he didn't have to marry her if it wasn't what he wanted but he went through with it.
Anyway they ended up buying a house on the street over from us so we saw them all the time. She would be at our house as soon as she got off because Chris at that time worked nights.
She did get pregnant and Joshua was born April 9,1994, then she got pregnant again and had a miscarriage then again and Austyn was born May 22, 1996, then again Garid was born July 31 1997. After Garid was born they really fought all the time. She got a tube legation to keep from having any more kids. Dec. of 1997 is when Chris found out she was running around with different guys they were going to divorce and back and forth.
My family always baby-sit so they never had the expense of daycare. All of a sudden she didn't want Chris or the kids around us and they fought all the time about that.
In April of 1998 she had a job offer to move to Sioux City Iowa for a year, she promised him she would straighten up and start being a wife and mother because she wasn't either one. She informed us she was too young to sit at home and she didn't. I tried to talk Chris out of moving. I said solve your problems then if you want to move then do it, but the problems are going to be the same just a different place.
They moved and they had been there about two weeks and he threw her through the front window of their house. It was just stuff like that going on constantly. During this period we had the two oldest kids most of the time we would drive up to get them and they stayed for a couple of months at a time. Also during this time Chris informed us Garid was not his to this day we don't know but we love him because even if he's not it's not his fault and Chris did love him.
Chris came down the week before Christmas 1998 and stayed with us because he said he wanted to spend the time with just me and him. She was coming with some of her friends to party. Well she ended up calling him and said her friends didn't come so she wanted him to come to her dad's so they could do something, he told her he came to spend time with me and just because her plans changed his hadn't.
We had such a good time and visit. He then told me he had attempted suicide by taking pills and that he really had wanted to die at the time. I begged him to move back and I begged him to seek help. At this time he said it would never happen again.
He did seek help upon his return to Iowa.. He went to a therapist and they put him on Depakote and something else I can't remember now. He wasn't sleeping just working cleaning house and taking care of Garid and the other two when they weren't here.
At this time we also found out she was coming to Ks. City once a month to see her boyfriend. Well Chris tried to choke her during an argument and she called the police he went to jail for the night, we were going to bail him out but she did, that's when he got probation for a year & had to go to anger management classes.
He finally had enough and called us and wanted to know if he could move in with us until he could get a job and find a place so his brother and my husband went up and moved him home around the 20th of March 1999. He was ok for a few days until she started calling him continually wanting him back.
Here she come to Ks. City, he went totally berserk and checked himself into Shawnee Mission Mental facility. She stayed for a week until she made sure he was totally depressed then she went back to Iowa but continued calling him. He checked himself out April the 9th came here and got the kids and some clothes and said he'd be back in a couple of weeks to get his furniture and other stuff. That was the last time I seen him alive.
I didn't hear from him for three weeks so I thought maybe they are getting along better. He called me several times May 5th she had come down here and he wanted to know if she could drop the kids off I said of course. After the kids were here he told me her boyfriend was getting out of jail and her birthday was the 7th of May and she wanted to celebrate here with her friends.
Anyway he called the final time May 6th and we talked a very long time and he had decided to get the divorce and he was so calm and had everything planned about finishing his probation had already found an apartment and we set up a budget for him and everything. I asked him why don't I come up this week-end since she's here and we'll go do something he said he was going to work double shifts because he would need the money to move, he said he would call me Friday.
I had a meeting at work so she was suppose to pick the kids up at 11:00 am but she never showed up I took the kids to my dad's.
I got home about 4:45 pm and I checked caller ID to see if Chris had called . The phone rang a few minutes after I got home with the kids, and it was her mother she said she wants the kids with her and I said she was suppose to pick them up this morning and she said since Chris is dead she wants them with her.
To the floor I went my legs had turned to rubber . Then a few minutes later the Iowa police called me and that's when my world ended as I had known it.
My baby was dead.
Love and Prayers Patti Christopher's mom
"Memorial to Christopher"
Note to Patti