Ken's Memorial service was held at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway on the Start/Finish line and his family gratefully acknowledges the warmth and kindness shown by the staff of the LVMS. Kenneth had a passion for all things NASCAR and was a season ticket holder of our local track. If he had to work, or was somehow not able to watch his races on TV, he made sure someone taped it for him. ....................
My Precious Baby Boy...and I know you aren't a baby, you're a grown man with babies of your own, but to me you will always be my Precious Baby Boy. Like you, I say best what I can put on paper and..like you...I write best at night. So here is what I want to say to and about you on this day, a day no parent should ever have to go through.
Kenneth, the God you sought was all around you that day. He was the sunset that fell on you. He was the snowfall gently settling around your broken spirit. He was the tall, green pines you smelled with your last breath. But more than anything, He was the abundant Love that those of us present here today, in this very special place to you, had and will always have for you.
YOU chose the place where you left us, perhaps because of the magnificence and beauty we will experience each time we venture near it, or see it from afar, or even when we see it only in our memories. WE have chosen THIS place to say goodbye to you and to honor your Life. Some of us will talk. Some of us won't be able to because they just can't find the right words or they would choke on their emotions.
Your Father is sick at this time, as you know, and can barely speak but I know you will watch over him and are at this very moment embracing him and telling him you love him and for him not to blame himself or to take on any additional burdens of guilt or self- questioning. Please Kenneth, come to him in his sleep and comfort his nights and help him through his days.
Kathy, too, is here for you...her beloved Brother. Tears wash over her soul in her grief at losing her only sibling and her best "bud". Please, Son, show your sister everyday, in a million ways, that you are and will Eternally be with her. She knows the Trust between you is not broken, nor the Love gone. Stay with her all the days of her life and someday when she has completed her own Life's Journey you will be there to help her cross over to be with you once again.
Your Grandma..yes, she is standing here in this place, too. A Place she never, ever would have been, had she not known how very much you loved being here and wanted to feel your presence and see the place that you loved so dearly. She is hurting, yes...but she understands the pain of your loss. She knows how very hurtful it is to lose the one you love so dearly. An old heart can hurt as badly as a young one, Ken. Reach from beyond the barrier now between us and touch her face, whisper on the breeze and tell her you are ok.
Jarad, so young and confused..he's here Uncle Ken. He should have been a grown man capable of understanding. He should have been more able to reason why these things happen. But someday Kathy will be able to make him understand. She will NEVER let him forget you.
Aunt Dorothy..yes, Kenneth,...as usual she is here with us..not only to honor your memory but to be our "rock". Well, you know her..if she can be our "mule", she can sure be our "rock", too! Her love and strength has helped us all through the pain of the last week as I know it will in the months and years to come. She will sorely miss those big bear hugs you gave her and she will keep our Choco "singing" for you.
And speaking of Choco, don't ever believe all our little pets don't miss you terribly, too. Actually I think you and Bitchy Bertha (with the saggy belly) are already in cahoots because I have never seen her so loving! She and Snuffy [our cats are even getting along and sleeping beside one another!
Kathy's friend Michelle is here, Ken. She has been a true and loving friend to your sister and we so appreciate her presence. She and Kathy have both discussed and cussed your leaving and they, too, understand your decision.
We all understand it, Kenneth, even if we don't like it. And there is none among us who haven't already forgiven you. [He asked us all to forgive him in the note he left]
Now, just from Mother to Son...I saw your pain every day. Sometimes you tried to hide it and you did a very good job of it, leaving me and leaving all of us such good memories. That wicked sense of humor, that ridiculous laugh of yours, the helping hand around home, the comfort of knowing you were just a stone's throw away if we needed you, the fishing trips with your Dad that he will cherish Forever, your "girlfriend" Maggie giving you that come-hither snort [our goat Maggie], the tail-end of that blue truck sticking out from behind that trailer comforting me, knowing that my Baby Boy was home safe and sound. These are just the memories of late. We could all talk for months on end about memories from the distant past.
But what I want to say now, my Son, is that as a parent myself, I know the heartache that drove you to do this. I know you love your children and needed them desperately in your life. Someday, Son, when they are no longer under others' influence, they will come to know the TRUTH about their Father! They will know the depth of your love for them and they will seek that love...if only through a whisper on the wind.
I am disappointed and a little angry at them right now, but it will pass. I won't stop loving your babies, Kenneth. I, too, have loved them from their first day and always will until my last...and beyond.
I will do my best to comfort everyone here today. I take strength from the love I know you had for me, as evidenced by that CD you left set up for me. I'm missing you, too, my Precious Son! [He had left Mother I Miss You by John Tesh set up on his stereo]
Go to the light, Kenneth, and if you have met God I am happy for you. I hope your Uncle "Bingo" and your Grandpa were there for you when you entered your new Life or that have since found you and that you are not alone or afraid. If you are, come to me and we will each find peace. My heart has a hole in it that only YOU can fill. Come to me, Son...soon and often.
I love you. .................
The things included in brackets [ ] are there to explain what I meant in the eulogy but were not included in the actual Eulogy,